If you’ve ever asked your extended family for career advice for your child, welcome to the unofficial Indian pastime: turning life-altering decisions into a community project.

It usually begins innocently.

You’re at a family gathering, your teenager is lurking behind a curtain avoiding eye contact, and some well-meaning uncle leans in and asks, “So beta, what do you want to become?”

Before your child can mumble “I’m still figuring it out,” ten voices erupt with unsolicited suggestions:

• “Engineering is safe. Look at my son. Settled in the US.”

• “Why not CA? Very respected.”

• “My daughter’s doing IAS prep. Very tough but worth it!”

• “Mass comm? Arey, that’s not a real career yaar.”

And suddenly, your child’s dreams are put through the filter of Sharmaji’s success stories, Dube aunty’s suspicions about non-STEM careers, and a WhatsApp University consensus built on half-read forwards.

Let’s talk about why this needs to stop.

🧠 1. Career Choices Aren’t Crowd-Sourced Decisions

Choosing a career is like choosing a life partner. You can take advice, but in the end, the person who has to live with it… is your child.

Would you let the family WhatsApp group pick their future spouse? (Wait, don’t answer that. Some of you actually might.)

But seriously, a career is deeply personal. It’s a blend of one’s interests, strengths, values, and the way they want to experience life. What worked for Sharmaji’s son in 2006 may be totally irrelevant in 2025.

🤷‍♂️ 2. Most Advice is Based on Outdated Info (Or Just Plain Wrong)

There was a time when being a doctor, engineer, or government officer meant lifelong job security, social status, and a Maruti 800 parked outside your house.

That was then.

Today’s world is exploding with options—UX design, data science, digital marketing, psychology, entrepreneurship, culinary arts, game development… the list goes on.

But many family members are still offering career advice from an era when Orkut was considered cutting-edge.

Would you take smartphone buying advice from someone still using a Nokia 3310?

Exactly.

🧓 3. Family Pressure Can Muffle a Child’s Inner Voice

Your child may actually know what they like—or at least what they don’t like. But when they hear things like:

• “That’s not a real career.”

• “There’s no money in that.”

• “What will people say?”

…they start doubting themselves. Not because they’re wrong, but because everyone around them sounds so sure.

It’s like trying to listen to your favorite song while someone is vacuuming right next to your ear. Eventually, you just turn off the music.

We need to help kids turn up their inner voice—not drown it in second-hand ambitions.

📦 4. One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Imagine if every family had to wear the same-sized shoe. Some would be flopping around like clowns; others would be grimacing in pain.

That’s what happens when we force kids into careers just because they’re “safe” or “in demand.”

Not everyone is built for coding. Not every child wants to crack NEET. Not everyone dreams of managing spreadsheets.

Some want to write. Some want to design. Some want to build businesses. Some want to teach. And yes, some want to take the unconventional path. That doesn’t make them wrong. That makes them brave.

🤔 5. Success Has Evolved. Has Our Definition?

Earlier, success meant a fixed salary, a marriageable resume, and a pension plan.

Today, it could mean:

• Doing work you love and making a living out of it

• Having flexible hours and mental peace

• Making an impact in your chosen field, no matter how niche

We need to update our success software. It’s time for Version 2025. The old one has too many bugs—mostly named “Log Kya Kahenge.”

👩‍💻 6. The Internet Is a Better Career Guide Than Uncle Vinod

Your child can access career quizzes, professional mentors, virtual internships, alumni insights, and skill-building platforms with just a few clicks.

They can talk to someone actually working in film editing or climate tech or AI ethics.

Meanwhile, Uncle Vinod still thinks B.Com leads directly to “settled job with LIC.”

Encourage your child to do research. To reach out to professionals. To ask questions. To experiment. And if you’re curious too, join them in the discovery. It can be a great bonding activity (and better than yet another evening of watching Kaun Banega Career Expert on the family chat).

🧭 So What Should Parents Actually Do?

Don’t worry—we’re not saying stay totally hands-off. Children need support, perspective, and sometimes a reality check. But there’s a way to guide without hijacking their dreams.

Here’s what helps:

✅ Be Curious, Not Controlling

Ask them why they like a certain field. What excites them? What kind of life do they imagine?

✅ Replace “You Should” with “Have You Thought About?”

The second one opens a door. The first one slams it.

✅ Expose, Don’t Impose

Expose your child to various career paths, mentors, videos, experiences. But don’t impose your choices.

✅ Encourage Internships & Projects

Let them test-drive their interests. A short internship in design or a weekend volunteering at an NGO can clarify so much.

✅ Stay Updated

Attend webinars, read career blogs, follow career counselors on social media. You don’t need to be an expert, just an informed cheerleader.

🎤 Final Thoughts: Let’s Give the Mic Back to the Kid

It’s tempting to control the narrative. You love your child. You want them to be secure, respected, successful.

But remember: your job is to raise a happy adult, not a trophy.

Support them in finding their path—not yours, not Sharmaji’s son’s, and definitely not the WhatsApp group’s.

Because while family groups are great for birthday wishes and Good Morning flowers, they are not equipped to decide your child’s future.

Let your child vote in their own life. After all, they’re the one who has to live it.

Want a simple rule of thumb?

If your child’s career path makes them jump out of bed with excitement (instead of hitting snooze with dread), you’re on the right track.

And hey, that’s a lot better than any poll result from the family chat.

Need help exploring unconventional career options? Share this post with a fellow parent or student, and let’s keep the conversation going—in the right chat, with the right people. 😊